Proforce

I have no luck in love.  None at all. 

For the second time in as many relationships, I end up on the short end of the stick.  Yes, this one went a lot further than the last, which means this one hurts more.  Much much more.

I never thought anyone could hurt me as much as ....she.... hurt me, but I have been proven wrong. 

I put so much energy into this relationship and into her that I had nothing left for anything else.  Not my writing, not my games...nothing. 

I'm not saying that will change immediately.  But as the bonds are severed, maybe I will be able to find my way back to what once made me happy.

Maybe.

I guess to some people "Always and Forever/Forever and Always" are just words.

Maybe a month late, but who really cares?  The point is that I'm refocusing myself on the things I want to do.  To that end, I've made up a new goal list for the year 2018:

docs.google.com/document/d/1pq…

Now, some of these look familiar.  I know, I've tried them before.  But I'm not ready to give up on them.  These were things that were important to me and I miss having the time and energy to do them.  I need to set some time for myself, and this will help me.  The gamelist and the ficlist is included under the grid. 

Some of them have been updated.  Last year I dropped from 320 to 285; not bad, if I do say so myself.  But I know I still have a long way to go.  I was able to increase my step goal from 12K to 14K.  This year, to increase my step goal, I have to reach the current goal 14 days consecutively; last year I only had to do 7. 

The two at the bottom are new.  I've recently gotten into League of Legends, and I love the game even if I'm not terribly great at it.  But I can get better, I will get better.  My main goal is to get to the point where I am ranked.  I'm also taking playing poker more seriously.  In 2017 I played 4 tournaments, winning one and cashing in a second.  My winnings for the year were $600, and I'd only played the last 4 months of the year.  Of course, I'm not putting this ahead of things like pay the bills or family vacations, but when I get some extra money I have no problem going down to hone my craft.  I might even play some cash games for a change of pace...and to need less money.

I'm also going to try a few things to get healthier that's not listed there.  As a monthly thing, I plan on identifying something I do that is not healthy (physically, mentally, or financially) and give it up for the month.  In February, for instance, I'm giving up packaged sugary desserts and bottled sugary drinks.  No cupcakes, no sodas, but I can make myself a cup of tea, hot cider, cocoa, or bake myself some fresh cookies.  This is to make me put in the work, so to speak, so I get to ask myself, "Do I want it that badly?"  At the end of the month, I will examine the impact it made on my health and how it makes me feel to determine if it stays gone permanently or if I let it back in at a reduced rate.  Some tentative ideas are listed below for other months:

Fast food (not fast casual.  There is a difference)
Scratch off Lottery tickets
Number drawing Lottery tickets (e.g. Powerball)
Salty snacks
Taking elevators at work
Processed meats (cold cuts, hot dogs)

Again, that list is tentative and if anyone has any suggestions I am all ears.  Here's looking forward to a terrific 2018.

Hey everyone,

I don't do this much, but this is a friend of mine that I really believe in and support what she's doing.  She has set up her own etsy store with some stuff that's really cool in a somewhat steampunk way.  The ideas she comes up with is crazy.  Take a look, and if you see something you like, buy it!

www.etsy.com/shop/dagianscreat…

Thanks everyone.

Kudos to anyone that gets the reference.

Short and sweet here: for a long time my muse was dead, gone, and buried.  It affected pretty much everything.  My writing, my game playing, even my online roleplays.  On top of that, it made me pretty miserable, and miserable to be around. 

But I am feel the first flutters of revival.  I was able to play a little this weekend, and a poem sprang from my pen to the paper today.  Historically, my best writing comes when the poetry flows.  So I am...cautiously hopeful of that returning as well.

Just letting everyone know I'm not dead.  I'm still here, and I'm still trying.  For now, take care everyone!